Everyone, irrespective of who the person is, needs to feel accepted, whether in social circle, or professional life or in your love life, acceptance is one of the most important need of humans. So, when you are rejected be it professionally or personally, you fail to satisfy this need and thus the process of wanting to feel accepted begins. Though, rejection in any form is agonising but when it comes through love, it becomes even more horrifying, for love is the most soothing emotion and being rejected in love is the hardest form of rejection to tackle.
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“I love you but I’m not in love with you, I need some space”, “You’re such a good person but It’s not you, it’s me”, “You’re gonna make someone else so happy”, “I am confused, I need some time to think”, etc. are some of the phrases through which rejection creeps in your love life. You suddenly start witnessing problems in your paradise and being rejected by the one we love, makes us want that person even more. It’s like when a child is told not to do something, it makes him do it even more, so, when we are rejected or we can’t have what we want or whom we love we start wanting them even more and are ready to do whatever it takes to get them. Rejection leads to formation of different types of emotions within the rejected person and in no time these emotions can turn into negative emotions like hatred or jealousy for the person whom we loved or love, thus igniting the harmful behaviour, so channelising all the built up emotions in the right direction is very important. While time heals all wounds but understanding this at that particular moment is very difficult, so here are few tips that will not reduce your suffering but will necessarily ease your pain and will make your healing period shorter:
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1. Acceptance
There is a reason why this tops our list because until and unless you accept that you have been rejected, you can’t deal with it. It is very easy to live in the mode of denial and expect things to change but at the end it is all in your head, the other person has clearly rejected you. So, the sooner you accept, the better off you’ll be. Accept that it has happened and most importantly accept that it isn’t you, it is the other person, when somebody rejects you they are most probably acting on their own insecurities and fears and maybe it has happened for good, maybe it has a greater purpose, maybe something better is in store for you in future. Whatever makes you feel good, just accept that it has happened and this is a phase that will pass.
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2. Engage Yourself
Now that you have accepted, it is important to engage yourself and keep yourself busy so that you don’t go on analysing your past or yourself, if you find yourself replaying all the scenarios in your head, gently draw yourself away from it and focus on something better. Start a new hobby or maybe a new physical activity, go cycling, gardening, opt for anything under the sun that will keep you happy and engaged at the same time. This will bring a lot of positive energy and all the required good vibes to make you feel alive all over again.
3. Focus on Yourself
Focus on the only person who will be with you forever i.e YOU. Spend the ‘ME time’ that wasn’t possible because of your busy schedule, pamper yourself but that doesn’t mean you start eating ice – cream by bucket and basically punish your body, instead, buy a new dress, treat yourself to a spa or body massage, get a new haircut or a new hair colour. Bring positive changes in your life and do what makes you grow as a person.
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4. Learn Something New
Learn something new, maybe a new skill or a new dish or a new dance form or something that would help in your career growth, it can be anything that interests you. So challenge yourself and try your hands at anything that you didn’t think you could do. This is very important as it will mark a new beginning of your life without them as you will add new things in your life that are not related to them by any way thus making you a new person without your past being attached to it.
5. Live, Love, Laugh
Live the life you love, love yourself boundlessly and laugh with your heart like a child. Unleash the child within you, travel alone or with friends and family as you may like, meet new people, start new friendships, find love, do all the crazy things you didn’t do before because of any reasons. In short, live your best life and for once become selfish unapologetically. Do what you want, love yourself like you are the only one, be the best version of YOU and be someone you will be proud of when you look back.
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6. Be your Friend, not Foe
This is the most important point. It is often seen that when faced with rejection, people indulge in outrageous acts like acid attacks, murders, etc.. This happens because of all the negative emotions that have been built up within that tend to take a toll on senses of that person and make him do all those stuffs which normally he/she wouldn’t do. But, at the end it is the same person who commits these crimes who has to suffer the most, so, don’t let rejection damage you. If you take rejection as something negative or make it an ego issue, it will only end up hurting you. Instead, view rejection as something which has a much greater purpose to serve in your life. Turn all the negative emotions into productive ones and come out as a better, stronger and more powerful YOU.
