From ‘Pyaar Dosti Hai’ to ‘Ektarfa Pyaar Ki Taaqat’, I have seen the definition of love changing on-screen and off-screen.
There was surely a time in my life I loved and lived with no regrets and lived by the words, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than never to love at all’. But then came the reality check and life happened.
Having been on both sides of love from the beloved to being the lover, I have been there and done that. And no longer romanticize unrequited love or find rejection, pain and hurt beautiful.
So if you are or at some point were a part of this process, a warm hug and few things I would like to say to you.
1. It’s Gonna Hurt
I wish life was the fairytale that we all imagined it to be, but sadly I hate it to break it to you, it isn’t. Its gonna hurt you bad when you expect love from a place where there is none. You are going to end up breaking your own heart in the process of getting their love and affection.
2. You Will Lose Yourself
Sadly, we associate rejection with us lacking something in us instead of understanding the situation with logic and reasoning. Lacking that understanding, we choose to take the other way to self destruction and pain. We see it as a personal defeat and in this process, we lose a lot of us without even realizing it.
3. You Will Question Your Individuality
From being the crazy, happy, and chirpy lover, you will turn into this depressive prick you never were. While changing a few things about yourself when you are in love is all natural, it’s another thing to sew your own life around someone else’s. Because when the person chooses to walk away, there will be a great void left. While trying to be a part of their life, you tend to forget that you have a life of your own too. You have your own opinion and choices too. A lot is lost in the unrequited love and a lot of ‘YOU’ too.
4. Your Self Confidence will Tarnish
Donning the hat of unrequited lover was also enlightening. I din’t care how much was reciprocated and kept investing until came a point where I had nothing left, not even for myself.
If ‘true love’ actually means ‘loving without expectations’, I had gone one step further. Romanticizing such a lack of reciprocation had cost me myself, my esteem and my self confidence. Rejection and self confidence never go hand-in-hand.
5. You will be Stuck
Not just your thoughts but even you will be stuck in this infinity loop of self loathe and bad decisions. And trust me that’s not a great place to reside at. Pack your bags to get out of it because life has a lot of destinations to offer with better views.
Some say that unrequited love never dies, it only hides in a secret place, wounded. It isn’t entirely untrue however, that’s the beauty of wounds, they remind you of the number of times you fell but got back UP strong.
The wound will eventually heal unless you choose to live with it forever. Let go it, even if it seems to be the hardest thing to do right now because one day, you will be thankful you did that.
Don’t get me wrong though, I still believe in loving and living with no regrets but with a caution tape around my heart and a head full of experiences to tell me better.